Question: I started a new job in August, and for the most part I really like it here. The thing is, I report to someone who yells when he's under pressure . He's not being abusiveor insulting, he's just extremely emotional and loud.
问题：我8月份找到一份新工作，大体上我比较喜欢这份工作。只不过有一点，我的上司每当面对重压的时候（几乎大多数时间），就爱对同事大吼大叫。当然，他并非辱骂、侮辱下属，只是他很容易激动，而且说话声音非常大。
I'm not used to this, and it leaves me dumbstruck. I can't concentrate well enough to answer intelligently when someone is holleringat me. The only other person who reports to this manager, and who has been here a long time, responds by saying, Call me when you've calmed down and we'll talk, and then leaves the room. I don't quite have the nerve to do that, and I don't want to yell back, so can you suggest some other ways to handle this?
对此我非常不习惯，这样的情况让我不知所措。每当有人对我大声叫喊的时候，我一直没办法集中精力，而且不可以明智地回答问题。包含我在内，他一共只有两名下属，另外一位已经在公司工作很久了，每当上司对他吼叫的时候，他会对他说：等你冷静下来给我打电话，大家到时候再谈。然后就离开房间。我可不敢那样做，但我也不想对他喊叫。那样，我如何办？
Answer:It seems your colleague is on to something. In any negotiation-- and make no mistake, this situation qualifiesas one -- the person who is ready to walk away, even if only for the moment, holds most of the power. The least effective thing you can do is fight emotion with emotion by yelling back at someone who's yelling at you, says Steven P. Cohen. If one party is emotional and the other stays calm, the unemotional one has far more leverage.The trickis learning how to use it.
回答：你的同事好像学会了秘诀。在任何谈判中没错，这样的情况也是谈判的一种随时可以离开的一方握有最大的主动权，即便只不过短暂的离开。斯蒂芬-科恩说：有人对你吼叫时，成效最差的应付办法便是以牙还牙，用大声叫喊来还击。假如一方情绪激动，而另一方能维持冷静，那样冷静的一方就学会了更多优势。而方法在于怎么样借助这种优势。
Cohen is president of a consulting firm called The Negotiating Skills Company and author of a new book, The Practical Negotiator: How to Argue Your Point, PleadYour Case, and Prevailin Any Situation. He notes that, while some people use yelling as a deliberatestrategy to intimidateothers, your boss sounds more like someone who's out of control and needs help learning how to cope with stress.
科恩是咨询公司谈判方法企业的总裁，并著有一本新书《实用谈判方法》。他表示，有些人会故意用大声叫喊作为威吓别人的方案，而你的上司听起来好像已经失去控制，需要认真学习怎么样应付重压。
He may also be dealing with personal problems, outside the office, that affect his behavior at work. But it's not your job to be his therapist-- so, if you're ever tempted to go there, don't.
他可能正为工作以外的私人问题焦头烂额，结果影响了工作中的表现。但你没责任做他的治疗师。所以，假如你有如此的计划，趁早舍弃。
Instead, Cohen recommends you try one or more of these tactics:
相反，科恩建议你试试看看下面的方案：
1. Say nothing.
1. 维持沉默。
Sitting there with a poker face or a quizzicalexpression, in absolute silence, is sometimes a good way to communicate that what someone just said -- or, in this case, how loudly he said it -- is offensive to you, Cohen notes. Wait until he runs out of steam and sTOPs shouting before you continue the discussion.
科恩表示：一言不发地坐在那里，脸上面无表情，或者携带揶揄的表情，是一种非常不错的方法，可以表达出某人所说的话或者大声叫喊的说话方法令你感到厌恶。等到他冷静下来，不再叫喊的时候，再继续你们的讨论。
2. Calmly explain why his yelling bothers you.
2. 平静地讲解他的叫喊为何令你烦恼。
If you feel you have to speak, you could say something like, When someone yells at me like this, it's very hard for me to concentrate. I feel as if we're really not communicating. There's an outside chance that pointing out the problem will embarrass him into lowering his voice, but even if not, having expressed what you're thinking will make you feel less like a deer in his headlights.
假如你感觉自己不能不讲出，可以如此表达：每当有人对我大声叫喊的时候，我就非常难集中精力。我感觉大家并非在交流。指出问题令你的上司感到尴尬，从而迫使他减少音量的可能性不大，但即使这样，表达源于己的想法，可以叫你不会再像以前那样惊惶失措。
3. Talk very softly.3. 轻声说话。
An approach that Cohen has often seen work is to talk in a very soft voice, slowly, he says. Make him listen to you, even to the point where he asks you to speak a little louder. This can be effective for two reasons. First, it distracts the yeller from whatever is stressing him out and shifts his attention to the content of the discussion, where it belongs; and, second, the glaringcontrast between your voice and his might cause him to talk to you more quietly.
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